Oh what a day...

So we got up early and all got dressed just in case the Pediatric Ophthalmologist (about a hour away) wanted us to come in as soon as possible.  I called as soon as they opened just to find out that he was in surgery all day.  Okay...  so what do we do now?  I spoke with his receptionist who was very helpful and gave me information of an ophthalmologist in the area who had the correct tools to do an exam on a 3 month old. 

We got an appointment later in the day to see the other ophthalmologist (only 30 minutes away).  He checked the pressures in Baby Girl's eyes, dilated her eyes and checked her optic nerve.  Everything looked great!  Whew!  He said probably what happened is her finger or hand hit her eye and caused a small bruise between the clear layer that covers the entire eye and the white of her eye.  He said it is very common and not a problem.

Since we were there and her eyes were already dilated he decided to check her eyesight. Turns out that she is farsighted just like our Little E.  Little E is happy (you can't wipe the grin off her face).  She is so proud that her baby sister will be just like her. Miss G is not so happy because she is the ONLY sister without glasses. hahaha.  Don't you love sisters, always wanting what the other has.  Though as a parent, this hurts my heart.  It doesn't look like it will phase our little one much.  I am just so happy that we were able to catch this so early.  They want to see Baby Girl in 6 months to see how everything is looking.  We probably will get glasses for her when she is around 9 months.  It amazes me how much they can know about a 3 month old's vision. 

Though it was quite the day I learned something... this is a rollercoaster ride and I need to be better about hanging on.  We are just at the beginning of this ride and yet I'm making myself sick over everything.  I truly believe that whatever happens Baby Girl will be okay (of course I have moments of weakness).  Yesterday, I was okay as long as I didn't focus on her eye.  Anytime I saw the little red spot on her eye my heart would drop.  It made me feel so sad that I felt sick.  I learned really quickly yesterday that if I wasn't in continual prayer I wouldn't make it through the day.  It's only going to get harder from here.  She will always have a reminder (scar on head) of her surgery and pain.  I am going to have to learn how to not allow it to consume me, as her mother, because she needs me for her strength.  I can't even begin to understand what Heavenly Father must have felt while watching Christ suffer on the Cross. 

Update

Today has been a hard day.  Baby Girl woke up with a broken blood vessel in her eye.  It could be as simple as she poked herself in the eye to possible cranial pressure.  I will be up early tomorrow trying to find a pediatric opthamologist who will see us as soon as possible.  I have faith but my heart does ache tonight. 

On a lighter note, it was sweet music to my ears when Baby Girl belly laughed at her two big sisters tonight before bed.  She is such a happy baby.

5...4...3...

What is so motivating about someone counting down from 5?  I honestly don't know but for some reason Miss G moves as fast as possible to do whatever is asked.  Usual conversation:

Me: "Miss G will you go get me a diaper for Baby Girl."
Miss G: "Not right now Im drawing"
Me:  "Please"
Miss G: (nothing)
Me: 5....
Miss G runs as fast as she can to get the diaper.

or

Me: "Miss G and Little E go get your socks on."
Miss G and Little E say nothing
Me: "Who will get their socks on the fastest?"
Miss G and Little E start running as fast as they possibly can to get their socks on first.

I don't know why counting or making it a contest works but no one is complaining in this house.  hahaha

Breakfast for Dinner

So I have a pretty big tub of cottage cheese sitting in my fridge. It will expire in a little less than a month.   I'm still trying to lose this baby weight... yes the baby hasn't been in here for 3 months but for some reason these hips and stomach are not back down to prebaby size (so annoying don't get me started on the joys of losing baby weight).  Okay so I'm trying to find good healthy recipes to use with this cottage cheese. 

My first stop GOOGLE.  Am I the only one who goes straight to google with any random question that comes up at my house.  It seriously is a life savor!  My sister and I were just discussing how it would be to have to buy the updated version of the encyclopedias.  Ya kid go look it up in the good ole' encyclopedias.  I mean I had to walk to school in the snow up hill both ways (kind of thing). haha  Okay sorry to get off on that tangent.

I came across a yummy recipe for cottage cheese pancakes.  Instead of syrup we put yogurt and bananas on top. 

Go to Weelicious.  It was a hit in my house. 

Q and A

Its Friday morning and we have to be at the Dr. office by 8:30am.  Dr. M (craniofacial surgeon) does clinics in our area, so we didn't have to travel hours away this time.  Thank goodness.  We were all dressed and walking out the door by 7:45am.  I actually drove Miss G to the bus stop and waved good bye (which later I was told that it embarrassed her that I stayed at the bus stop...  and so it begins, hahaha).  I pretty much knew what I wanted to ask him but jotted down each question to make sure I didn't forget anything.

1. What are the side effects of Procrit?  Procit is a drug that is usually used with patients who have cancer because their red blood cell count is low.  They use this drug long term and there are some side effects when used like this.  Baby Girl will only use it for 3 weeks and he has never seen any side effects used short term.
2. Will he work on her forehead?  He said he will tilt her forehead back a little.
3.  Do I need to start feeding her every 2 hours?  Yes, we need to do anything that we can to raise her body weight.  More weight = More Blood (the stronger her little body is)
4. If people donated blood at the hospital, where she is having her surgery, would we get a credit on our account?  I've heard that some hospitals will credit your account (if you need a blood transfusion) if other people donate blood at their hospital and give them your name.  Baby Girl's hospital doesn't do blood donations, therefore; will not credit accounts of patients.  They use an outside blood bank.
5. Direct blood donation from a parent?  If a parent gave a direct blood donation to their child, later in life they could not donate an organ to that child because the child's body builds up antibodies against parts of the parent's blood.  Also when a direct donation is given the blood doesn't go through the same process as banked blood possibly causing a step to be missed.  Usually the parent's blood isn't as good as a match as blood bank blood.

These are just a few things we discussed during our appointment.  On a lighter note, as Dr. M was discussing everything with us he would stop and look at Little E for a moment then continue on with what he was saying.  He did this a few times.  Right before he left, he asked "Is she always like this?" (pointing to Little E).  We laughed and said yes.  He, then, said, "She is like a little woman."  hahahaha. She had been sitting on a smaller chair in the office and been quietly and attentively listening to everything that he had to say. We agreed with him.  Here is this very educated, polished plastic surgeon and he was taken back by our Little E.  She is quite the character that keeps us giggling throughout the day. 

I was so nervous getting prepared for this appointment but while we were there and afterward I felt completely at ease.  I hope this feeling stays.

Here we go...

We have Baby Girl's last appointment before surgery with our Cranio-facial team tomorrow.  So I am trying to get prepared, by writing out all my questions that I have had, so we walk away from the appointment feeling confident.  I think a new set of butterflies just landed in my stomach.

A Sneak Peek...

*Little E hanging out at home.

Guess who is rolling over from back to tummy... yep!  Baby Girl is rolling over to her tummy. If only she could figure out how to move her arm from underneath her tummy.  She no longer will just lay there.  She grunts, wiggles, pushes her head into the ground and pretty much anything else to get her little body to roll.  Honestly I just tell her to please relax. haha.  I'm quite the motivating Mommy, aren't I.  (I think its Heavenly Father's tender mercies... I really don't worry about her developmentally. She has already surpassed her big sisters.) 

In the background, Little E is walking around the house singing "J*I*N*G*O and Bingo was his name oooooo".  :)  I have tried correcting her and she was amazed that I knew the song.  She asked "Where did you learn that?"  I told her from my mommy.  She looked at me kind of crazy and said "Did she watch Barney too?"  haha.  Then she ran off to sing J*I*N*G*O again.  Oh well.  I kind of like that version better anyway. 

Miss G has picture day today.  She was excited and had the perfect hair in mind for her pictures.  She wanted curls all over her head.  Hum, yeah that meant getting up earlier to make sure it was curled and in place.  She left with her light up Twinkle Toes on and everything.  We shall see how it all turns out.  Keeping fingers crossed.  (Just in case you were wondering... yes I omitted the fall out from last night that she had from not getting to wear what she wanted.)

Just a peek into my life.

Miss G

*School Picture  2010



Miss G.  The oldest sister. Miss G is my right hand woman.  She helps with everything around the house.  She is becoming so old.  There has been a transition going on with her.  She is still young and likes to watch cartoons, play house and run around but I've started to notice a change.  She likes to sing and dance. Miss G likes to watch the baby cousins instead of playing pretend with the toddlers.  She is the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family.  In the past, she would be the ring leader and start up games or pretend fun.  Now Miss G likes to "babysit" (meaning watch the younger cousins while their Moms talk). 

Miss G LOVES gymnastics.  When I say LOVE it really is an understatement.  She lives and breathes gymnastics.  She is always doing some kind of move that she learned in class at home.  Miss G is actually really good at it and that always excites me because I enjoyed the same thing growing up.

I am in awe at my Miss G.  She is smart, kind and loving.  When she realizes that she made a bad decision she is quick to apologize and give hugs and kisses(sometimes it takes a little while before she actually realizes that mistake).  She is still so innocent.  I absolutely LOVE that!  She understands that she is the oldest so she always is asking me if something is "age appropriate" for her sisters or younger cousins.  The other day she was talking about her hair and said "It looks like the "s" word".  I asked her what the "s" word was and she whispered in my ear "stupid".  Thank goodness that is the "s" word!  She is good to the core.  She reminds me of my older sister, "Aunt Silly" (I will explain why she is called Aunt Silly in another post.)  I hope that she doesn't change.  Little E and Baby Girl are so lucky to have such a big sister.  Miss G is my heart.

The Laughing Party

Did you know the Navajo Indians throw a party for their baby's first laugh?  It's called "The Laughing Party".  I guess they surround the baby and try to make him/her laugh.   Whoever can make the baby laugh, first, will have a significant role in their life. 

I can see why the Navajo Indians throw a party.  Baby Girl just laughed for the first time tonight.  Miss G won the battle.   There is pure joy in a baby's laugh!

The "What ifs"

*Baby Girl laying beside me as I blog.

Some days Cranio can be all too consuming. I went on Craniokids.org today to see if there were any posts that related to Baby Girl that may help us or where I could help them.  I came across a few posts of teenagers/adults with untreated Saggital Cranio.  I was hooked.  I couldn't stop reading their posts and jumping from one group to another in hopes to see a picture.  Now I really just feel completely drained. 

I have to make sure I don't get too obsessed.  Its so easy to obsess about her future.  Will the surgery work? Will she need more surgeries?  Will her head look nice and round when she is an adult?  Will her eyesight be damaged?  Will her hearing be damaged?  Will she be delayed developmentally?  Will she be teased and have poor self esteem because of this?  Will she be happy? 

Right now Baby Girl is happy, ahead of schedule and absolutely perfect.  I don't want to do anything that will change that.  Yet, if we do nothing it could change everything.  Its such a hard situation to be in.  No parent wants to cause any type of pain to come upon their child yet if we do nothing it could harm her the rest of her life. 

Choices.  These are all the feelings I feel right now, tonight.  I know what needs to be done and we will go through with it.  I just love her so much.  She is my heart.  All I can do is pray for the strength to help her through this trial right now.  Oh, how I pray that I will be strong enough.

Our Little E

*Little E in her gymnastics clothes.

Our Little E...  she is our daughter that loves to mother.  As a baby, she usually had some type of health issue going on from asthma, reflux or her bad vision.  I worried about her because she just seemed so fragile.  She loves babies, dolls, strollers and everything that has to do with being a mother.  Little E constantly has a baby on her hip and pushing the stroller with one hand.  She loves Baby Girl and being her big sister! She is constantly correcting Scott, Miss G and me on how we are handling Baby Girl.   hahaha 

One day she told me "Mommy, you sure are my special helper".  In that child's mind, she runs the show and we are all to obey her.  She makes mothering a joy.  She is my little buddy.  Little E has most people wrapped around her little finger.