Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The "What ifs"

*Baby Girl laying beside me as I blog.

Some days Cranio can be all too consuming. I went on today to see if there were any posts that related to Baby Girl that may help us or where I could help them.  I came across a few posts of teenagers/adults with untreated Saggital Cranio.  I was hooked.  I couldn't stop reading their posts and jumping from one group to another in hopes to see a picture.  Now I really just feel completely drained. 

I have to make sure I don't get too obsessed.  Its so easy to obsess about her future.  Will the surgery work? Will she need more surgeries?  Will her head look nice and round when she is an adult?  Will her eyesight be damaged?  Will her hearing be damaged?  Will she be delayed developmentally?  Will she be teased and have poor self esteem because of this?  Will she be happy? 

Right now Baby Girl is happy, ahead of schedule and absolutely perfect.  I don't want to do anything that will change that.  Yet, if we do nothing it could change everything.  Its such a hard situation to be in.  No parent wants to cause any type of pain to come upon their child yet if we do nothing it could harm her the rest of her life. 

Choices.  These are all the feelings I feel right now, tonight.  I know what needs to be done and we will go through with it.  I just love her so much.  She is my heart.  All I can do is pray for the strength to help her through this trial right now.  Oh, how I pray that I will be strong enough.


  1. Abby!! I just found your blog off of Kim's! I looked at your old family one on and off, but, I didn't know that you had started this one. I'm sorry to hear about your baby girl. She is beautiful, by the way! I know that you will be strong enough to get through this. We went through a lot of things with Rohne. Looking back, I don't know how I survived, but, I did. You are entitled to immeasurable strength from our Heavenly Father when we make the choice to become a mom. He just wants us to ask Him to give it to us. The scriptures were a constant strength for me, as I know they probably are for you too. We went through the whole "quarantine" thing for about a year. It was hard, but, so worth it, in the end. My son had no immune system. Period. Thankfully, I just had Taylee at home, and she didn't care that she never left the house. Jake got very used to showering, and throwing his clothes in the washer. (Wish he would do that now!!) Good luck. I will be thinking of you, and following your blog now I found it. Make sure that you take care of yourself too!! You can't be strong for her, unless you are strong yourself. I'm talking girls nights, pedicures, workouts, etc. Even if you have to wear a mask. I wore one every time I went to Walmart. You get wierd looks, but, it doesn't matter. Take care!

  2. Abby, knowing what I know of you, I have no doubt you will be strong enough. Yes, you will still have bad days. Yes, it will still be hard. Yes, you will still cry. BUT, you will make it through. Baby girl will always know you are on her side and you are her advocate. She will know when times get tough, mom will be their. You have been so blessed to even have this baby come to your home, that is a miracle in and of itself. Now think of all the other little miracles that have happened since she was born. You are not alone; never have been, never will be; YOU can be strong enough to do this. One way to have that strenght is to let those around you help you.
    Take care and PLEASE let me know if their is EVER anything I can do. I am always up for some girl time, I learned to cook once, and I can make a mean cake!